Caregivers and the Work-Life Balance (LOL) 

By: John Brown

I often think of caregivers as firefighters. At any moment, while you are cooking dinner or taking a moment to breathe, the alarm can sound, and you must rush head-on to face the chaos. But usually, you aren’t recognized as a hero. You’re a caregiver for an adult or child with high support needs. On top of that, you’ve also got a career, maybe multiple jobs, or simply doing everything you can to financially survive. At the very least, this deserves a month of recognition.   

But let’s be honest, it’s exhausting. Like, beyond exhausting. If anyone understands that overwhelming feeling of being pulled in too many directions, it’s you. So today, let’s highlight the very real challenges you face, and maybe give you a little comfort along the way. Because the truth is, what you’re doing matters. You matter. And I don’t think people tell you that enough. 

A Day in Your Life: The Unsung Hero 

The alarm goes off, and you’re already tired. Maybe you got up during the night to calm a situation at 3:00 A.M., maybe you didn’t sleep well because your mind wouldn’t stop racing about everything you have to do…or can’t do. Maybe you haven’t slept at all.  But here you are, day after day, surviving — and the love you give isn’t always pretty, but it is limitless. 

Let’s talk about your career. You know the side hustle that pays the bills. It’s filled with emails, meetings, and deadlines that, on their own, would be enough to make anyone’s head spin. And while you’re knee-deep in paperwork or in a job with unapologetic physical demands, the person you care for still needs you. Their needs don’t wait for your lunch break, and they certainly don’t clock out at 5:00 P.M. 

So, you’re torn between the demands and satisfaction of a career and the very real, human needs of someone who depends on you. That’s not just difficult, it’s heart-wrenching. You’re constantly shifting gears, trying to be everything for everyone. And no matter how hard you try; it can feel like you’re falling short somewhere. But let me tell you this: you are not. You are incredible. What you do is incredible.   

The Work-Life Dance 

Let’s talk about this thing people call “work-life balance.” As if it’s something you can just figure out with a few deep breaths and a yoga pose. You’re not just balancing work and life—you’re balancing work, caregiving, medical appointments, emotional support, daily routines, managing your home, and, oh yeah, somewhere in there you’re supposed to find time for yourself. And if you have a partner, let’s throw their needs in there too.   

It’s more of a clumsy dance than a balance. And while everyone else seems to be striving for this perfect balance, you’re over here just trying to make it through the day. Guess what? That’s okay. You don’t need to be perfect for anyone, not even the person you are caring for. Sometimes your best is going to feel like failure, but it’s what you can give, and I promise you, that’s enough.   

Some Tips to Keep You “Balanced” (or at Least Close) 

Now, I know a few tips aren’t going to solve everything, but if there’s something that can lighten the load, even just a little, then maybe it’s worth a shot. So, from one caregiver to another, you deserve all the help you can get. 

Learn to Say “No” (Seriously, Do It) 

I know, I know—it’s hard — especially when the world expects so much from you but saying “no” is a form of self-care. If someone at work asks you to take on an extra project and you just can’t, say no. If you’re being asked to an event but the stress and logistics feel overwhelming today, say no. There’s strength in setting boundaries, and you deserve to have boundaries.   

Look for Flexibility at Work 

If your workplace offers any kind of flexibility—remote work, flexible hours, anything—grab it like it’s the last cupcake on the table. These little pockets of flexibility can give you some breathing room. And if your job isn’t flexible? Talk to HR. Explain your situation. You’d be surprised how understanding people can be when you’re honest about what you’re going through. 

Let Technology Do the Heavy Lifting 

Use apps or anything else that can take care of the small stuff for you. Automate your bills, set up grocery deliveries—anything to take a few things off your plate. There are countless free calendars and scheduling apps that you can use to set a little time for yourself. Commit to that time. You have enough on your mind. Let the robots help, just this once. 

Lean on Your Support Network 

Caregiving is a lonely gig and the last thing you want is to feel like a burden to someone else. It really does help to simply let someone know what’s going on in your life. Find other caregivers, join support groups, reach out to friends who maybe can’t understand the struggle, but will listen. Remind people that you just need a friend, not a solution; having people in your corner, even just to vent to, can make all the difference. Remember that taking time for yourself is not selfish; allowing yourself to rest, recharge and do something that makes you happy, allows you to be a better caregiver. Never feel guilty for needing help. Asking for support doesn’t make you weak; it makes you human. 

Why You Keep Going 

Here’s the big question: why do we do it? Why do you keep pushing through the exhaustion, the stress, the long days and sleepless nights? 

Because you love the person you’re caring for. Unconditionally. Even when that love makes you angry or you start to hear that inner voice say, “why me?” Your love might not always look like the stuff you see in movies—it’s messy, it’s muddy, it’s unapologetic. But sometimes, it’s just about showing up. You’re showing up. Every single day. Even when you’re exhausted, even when it feels impossible. And that matters more than you know. 

You’re not just a caregiver. You’re someone’s lifeline. You have chosen to show up for someone who needs you. Believe me, not everyone chooses that path. And yeah, it’s a lot. But it’s also something to be proud of. 

So, if no one’s told you today: You are doing an amazing job. Even on the days when you feel like you’re barely keeping it together, you are doing more than most people could ever imagine. It’s inspiring and we see you.    

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Explore our website to find resources you need, wherever you are on your journey. Find a local affiliate to access support groups, events, and more. 

Contact our National Helpline at 800.328.8476 to speak to a trained Information and Referral Specialist to find local support and services in your area.  

The National Helpline is not a crisis line. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, contact the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, or contact emergency community services by calling 211.